MAGA's Frankstein Problem

MAGA Influencers are currently locked in a pissing contest over Charlie Kirk's killer's trial, and I love that for them.

Maybe Charlie Kirk did die for something important, after all — the self-immolation and collapse of the dumbest, most racist political movement this country has seen in a century or so.

The central theme of Frankenstein, the first and maybe best science-fiction novel ever written, is essentially a warning about human hubris. The doctor couldn’t control the monster he made, and eventually it led to his demise.

For some of MAGA’s influencer class, Candace Owens and others are starting to look like Frankenstein’s monster run amok.

The reason I still torture myself by scrolling through right-wing social media posts is so I can get an inside look at what their movement is going through. Being a former dyed-in-the-wool, born and raised conservative Christian Republican, I probably have a slightly higher tolerance for their bullshit than most, which lets me read some of the dumbest posts human beings are capable of composing, and usually only with a small amount of vomit-tinged rage. Right now, the MAGA movement is being splintered by the trial of the dude who killed Chuckie Kirk.

This might be surprising or shocking to some, but the American right-wing has been fed a steady diet of conspiracy theory swill by the likes of Rush “Hillary Literally Murdered Vince Foster” Clinton and Alex “Nobody Shot Those Kids You Just Buried” Jones for what amounts to essentially every one of the 45 years I’ve been alive. An entire cottage industry of conservative punditry, that was basically just accusing liberals or progressives of whatever harebrained, wildly stupid bullshit they could think of was created, and now the people who inherited that pile of pig shit are fighting over Owens and others playing the conspiracy card over Kirk’s killing. Lots of mad doctors seem to have lost control of their monsters.

Secret Jewish Space lasers may just be the tip of the moronic iceberg.

I have to say, I find it particularly ironic when an intellectual gnat-minded idiot whose entire career has been made by writing dime store drivel conspiracy bullshit gets offended by someone spewing conspiracies about Chuck’s killer. Then again, those same people used to make fun of Charlie themselves until they figured out that their continued financial success depends on appearing to be kind to Charlie’s grifting widow. Dudes who literally devote entire books to slagging the Soros Family and implying they’re the head of some evil cabal trying to end the United States, dudes who hang out with the likes of Steve Bannon, now trying to distance themselves from Candace Owens and others, simply because they’ve made the decision to keep up that cottage industry of bullshit and lies going. The irony is as thick as it is tasty.

It cannot be overstated that the two sides of this particular fight usually march in lock-step goose-steps. They’re the people who share grainy crotch shots of Michelle Obama. They’re the people who changed their names on Facebook to include “Benghazi” as their middle name. Normally, they all appear on each other’s low-IQ fest podcasts, and laugh it up over the misfortunes of poor people, queer people, or people of color. But for some reason, now the conspiracy theorists can’t agree on what a legitimate conspiracy theory is, and I love that for them.

Maybe what Candace Owens is doing right now is disgusting.

On some level, I can totally understand why people in her own movement would distance themselves from her. I’m just saying that if you normally spend your entirely-too-online life bragging about being a bestselling author of conspiracy theories, maybe you should shut the fuck up about other people in your own party theorizing about idiotic conspiracies. Or don’t take my advice, and people who know what a clit tastes like can just keep laughing at you.

Personally, I see many ways of defeating the MAGA movement, but the most entertaining might just be watching them devour each other. I’m going to enjoy the view for awhile.